Fourteen

It’s been almost twelve years since my mother kicked me out the first time. Unfortunately, I don’t have anything left to support the second time (actually, it was the FIFTH, but who the fuck really cares, anyway?)

Nobody.

At.

All.

Although I was used to that, I hadn’t expected to go through HELL. I hadn’t expected to find myself an aunt-unwanted. Of course. Things really suck. I’ve got nowhere to go from here. I don’t want to go anywhere from here.I just want to be DONE.

I’ll admit, I am so sad. My brother hates me. So does my mom. And, apparently, I’m never gonna get to meet the kid. 

It sucks almost as much as knowing your mom hates you.

Although I’ve done my best to move on, I simply can’t.

How does one reconcile being hated? Dismissed? Forever? And EVER?  I’m nothing to nobody. I’ll never be anyone to anybody. Ever. 

It’s been FOURTEEN YEARS. 

I’m old. 

I’m tired. 

All of my friends are DEAD, or, they've abandoned me.

Just like me. 

Only, they’re free. Free from this flesh I cannot stand.

FOURTEEN YEARS.

Is a long time.

Too long.

Way too long.

Fuck fifteen.

Peace OUT.

  

SEVEN YEARS OF FREEDOM, WITH AMY LEE COY

Author. Blogger. Musician. Wife. Daughter...

*MENTOR.*

*LIVING/LOVING HER OWN *LIFE* 

 *THE FIRST EVER, CERTIFIED SELF RECOVERY COACH.* 

 A wonderful, amazing person, whom I am proud to call "FRIEND." 

Her words, encouragement and book stay with me, through every moment, while I walk my own path to FREEDOM.

DREAM CHECK FRIDAY, DECEMBER 7, 2012

Hello Fellow Dreamers!

How was your week? 

Mine was wonderful, since I moved into my new *HOME!* My roommate is just as amazing as I thought she was when we met. She works hard, plays hard and has a great life. 

"MAKE A WISH" UPDATED

This morning I woke in my new place. For the first time, in nearly twenty-two months, I feel one hundred percent safe, happy and *HOME,* at last. I humbly thank God for every single blessing I've received. I moved out of another terrible situation into one that seems to be exactly what I need.

S*&^% HAPPENS!

When my roommate, his girlfriend and I had a conversation the other day about the move, they blew off my utter melt-down with the term, "SHIT HAPPENS." 

DREAM CHECK FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 2012

Hello Fellow Dreamers!

How was your week? 

Mine?

LIFE SUCKS THEN YOU DIE A POEM WRITTEN BY GO-GO RACH (2010)

A Poem written by Go-Go Rach

in

October 2010 

LIFE SUCKS.  THEN YOU DIE

Some of us just suck oxygen.

DREAM CHECK FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2012

Hello Fellow Dreamers! How'sit? 

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, in the company of family and close friends who treat you with respect, dignity and honor, as we all deserve.

HOLIDAYS SUCK ASS

HAPPY TURKEY DAY, MY FRIENDS!

Today represents the first Holiday Season, since I was a kid, that I am blessed to experience in a traditional way. I get to spend Thanksgiving AND Christmas with a friend's family in a home filled with love, encouragement and HOLIDAY CHEER.