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Boston, MA, United States
I don’t need an introduction.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


My mother sent me an email today telling me that she will put gas in my car to check myself into the hospital, after I called her a CUNT to her face because I finally get that she has held me hostage to her EMOTIONAL TERRORISM my entire life.

The only good thing about being a jobless, homeless, penniless ORPHAN is that I no longer have to filter anything.  This will be first of several posts about the woman who created Go-Go Rach.

My response:

Actually, MOTHER you are the one who needs to check yourself in, since you use everyone and make up the truth as you go along, which is why you are allowed to communicate with my via email ONLY from now on. You might want to look at how you get almost four thousand dollars a month, yet have to borrow money due to your compulsive spending habit.

Also, it might be a good idea to examine how you think you are a victim, in spite of fucking every single person you have ever come into contact with, including your kids, over in service to your own greedy agenda. On top of this you have a negative view of the world that controls all your thoughts and emotions so much that the only thing you ever do is play mindless computer game or watch the IDIOT box to block it out.

I have every right to be furious with you. You manipulated me to come here with the promise to cover my minimal expenses while I write my book.  You said "Please, let me help you get your writing career off the ground."

I am kicking myself in the ass right now because, I swore, I would never be manipulated by you AGAIN.  I'm still paying the COST of  placing trust in you with the expense I was stuck with THE LAST TIME YOU PULLED THIS SHIT.

Lies usually become the truth in your mind, so I will remind you.

Remember when I got that sales job which  required me to buy a car?  I had a thousand dollars saved with the plan to purchase a beater to get me from point A to point B.  When I talked to you about what I wanted, you said I should buy new for the first time because, you said, I deserved it.

Drum ROLL, please.

As always, YOU HAD AN AGENDA in service to your needs (at your daughter's expense).

You needed a car too, but you were short on cash, so ya talked me into "splitting" the cost of a car so we could "share it," which translated to ME driving you wherever you wanted to go, without YOU ever asking me directly WILL YOU BRING ME TO THE STORE?  Because, like always, I SHOULD KNOW.

Since I am not a mind reader, I fail at guessing what you want.  This always makes you angry with me, so YOU STUCK ME WITH A 320 car payment, plus 80 dollars a month for insurance that I have paid out of my bank account for THREE YEARS with three more to go! AND you made me pay you back the entire amount of the deposit we AGREED to split AND the half payment you made at the dealership.

All of this worked out PERFECTLY for you.  I took the blame for questioning you, since I am SELFISH.  You took the money and bought yourself  A BRAND NEW CAR!

The best of of the whole thing is that I am now about to lose that car because OF YOUR offer to help me move up in life.  I've put 14k into that car which has hogged every extra dollar I've EARNED for the past THREE YEARS.  If I hang on to the piece of shit Ford Focus hatch back through the end of the loan, I will have paid 25K for a car that is worth about 4K, maybe!

You manipulated me again with the thing I need the most when you said, "come here so I can help you get your career on track."  When I FINALLY gave in after six months of your sweetening the deal, you say,"oh, wait, I can't afford your car payment."  As we discussed, I have no problem letting the thing go, as long as I know I'm working toward MY LIFE LONG DREAM!

So nice of you to let me know, AFTER I FUCKING MOVED HERE, that you don't let anyone drive your car (after we discussed this as a possibility if things got tight), thus putting me in the position to either be stuck here with no way to do anything, or work, which you know is IMPOSSIBLE, since I am a CLASS A FELON and LOST WAGES HATES US!

When I was RIGHTFULLY pissed, you justified your betrayal with "Well, what else would you have done, if you did not come here?"  My answer would have been ANYTHING ELSE! You were too busy calling me an ungrateful bitch to listen.

RIGHT here is when it should have dawned on me that YOU ALREADY HAD AN AGENDA! *DOH*

In order to get out from under the shitty position I've put myself in, I set out to get a job during an economic crisis, with a BIG FAT F on my record.  I got lucky with two jobs that are typical Vegas scams, that do not pay ANYTHING! I would be much better off if I stayed home and wrote the book I have a PUBLISHER waiting for, so I quit.

I gotta say it felt GREAT to finally tell you in no uncertain terms that I am AN ADULT with every right to make MY OWN decisions.  I don't want or need your approval or acceptance in any part of MY LIFE.  Your job in my development ENDED ages ago - AND YOU SUCKED AT IT.   Thanks for sharing.

When I told you that I would rather move some place where I WANT TO LIVE, you called me a greedy bitch who doesn't want to work, which is total crap! I have been working and paying MY OWN way since I was FIFTEEN years old.  Why is necessary to remind you that I have a RIGHT to choose where I want to live?  You know damned well how much I hate this place!

We've gone over the reasons a million times before.  Not that it matters to you, mother, on top of the list of why I hate this city is that reminds me of that one time, when I LOST MY SOUL.  You have suffocated me all my life with what you want.  I am taking my life back.  I refuse to give up another thing because of my Poor MOTHER who lies, cheats and steals her way through people and LIFE.

When I found out some of my friends are working on a documentary in L.A., I told you about the opportunity because I was certain you would be thrilled that I have a chance to do MY DREAM JOB.  Most parents who are SANE would be jumping up and down for joy with their children for something like this.

NOT YOU! You got pissed and said that you were hoping I would stay here, get ANY job, whether I like it or not, to pay you RENT! (so you can buy more shit you don't NEED!)  When I said NO, you tried to tell me I have used you, which is LAUGHABLE.   Positively LAUGHABLE!

When I reminded you that I am merely and idiot, who accepted YOUR OFFER, you kicked me out of the house and, told me that I had better take the stuff I brought here from San Diego that furnished my TWO BEDROOM apartment, or you WOULD KEEP IT!

So, I have two choices. One, leave immediately, giving you opportunity to STEAL everything I own in the world, or Two, stay here and try to figure out a way to get the hell out of THE MESS YOU have put me in!  I'll be staying as LONG AS IT TAKES.

Then, just in case you haven't damaged me enough with your manipulation AND GREED, you spewed about me publicly on FACE BOOK, a site you know  I use ONLY for PROFESSIONAL contacts - one of whom I was supposed to meet with to discuss a very lucrative opportunity!

When he saw your update assault of me, he encouraged me to contact him "when my life is stabilized."   This was the blow that made me finally understand you do not have one iota of care or concern for me all, aside from what I can do for YOU.

IN OTHER WORDS, mother, YOU KILLED MY FIRST OPPORTUNITY TO WORK IN MY DREAM FIELD with an irrational spew of LIES IN A PUBLIC FORUM. I could sue you for defamation of character AND LIBEL! And, I SHOULD, but all I want right now is to get as far away from you as possible!

And you have the nerve to say I NEED TO go to the hospital?

I beg to differ.

I am sending a copy of this to the two friends you have left in the world and, my brother because I know you have probably given them YOUR version of the truth, AS IS USUAL.

AND, I am sending a copy to my FATHER because I want him to know THIS HAS FINALLY WOKEN ME UP to the fact that MY MOTHER has held me hostage to her EMOTIONAL TERRORISM my entire life. I will be contacting him shorty to see if we can work it out FOR GOOD.

I am unemployed, penniless, and now HOMELESS thanks to my mother's manipulation.


P.S.  I  attribute all the times I've been FUCKED over by mom to THE CULT, since the program did not allow me to use this natural human instinct TO PROTECT MYSELF.  Instead, I was forced to apologize to anyone who wronged me with a forced admission that I was SELFISH and SELF SEEKING to expect my mom to behave in a way that she cannot..  I was to make amends to her and, forgive her for being "sick."

*Way to keep a sista down and out!*


The healthy, productive and SUCCESSFUL people in my CULT FREE LIFE tell me to stay away because  I HAVE BEEN HOSTAGE TO EMOTIONAL TERRORISM.  I am so EXCITED that I get to listen to and mirror people who are doing something with there lives, besides rehashing past mistakes and waiting for "GOD" to bring them miracles.

I MAKE MY OWN MIRACLES NOW!  What a concept, eh?

Leaving THE CULT has changed my mind about a lot of things, especially who I need in my life and those who get the Go-Go BOOT!


DeConstrucor's Comment In Response to LETTER TO MY "FRIENDS" IN AA (page above)

"Brav fucking O.....Standing O fucking Vation. Or perhaps the Charlie Daniels quote from the Geico commercial of "thats how you do it son"

That was incredible.

Reminded me a little of "the letter" at the end of the Breakfast Club (perhaps the greatest movie ever)

Keep it up, dont be afraid to kick them in the teeth once in a while.

Always remember that its the misfits, the rebels, and the troublemakers that are the ones that change the world."

He post the following video at the end of his comment.

Thank you, my friend.
I am both Flattered and HONORED.

*This Video is here to support Decon's Words, not OBAMA (or any politician for that matter, since I've never been allowed to vote) Sincerely, Go-Go Rach.