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Boston, MA, United States
I don’t need an introduction.

Friday, February 18, 2011


Hello Fellow Dreamers!  How was your week?  Mine was a roller coaster of TERROR.  I am fucked five ways from Sunday, which is what happens every time I trust my mom.  Currently, I'm being held hostage in Las Vegas  with an empty gas tank while I wait for a couple hundred bucks to arrive tomorrow from my father.  He has a brother who lives in a suburb of L.A. (no idea which one) with his family who has agreed to let me stay at his house while I try to get my shit together, STILL.

I have no idea if I have a couch, a room, or what the living situation is because I have never met my uncle and, my father is not sure, either.  Also, I have no idea if he knows that I will be bringing Tolstoy with me.  I need details, but have no way to contact the uncle, so I am absolutely panic stricken and full of fear.  I don't know that this is the best idea.

My life is one hell of a mess.  I'm exhausted and overwhelmed right now.  I usually can sort things out, but this will be my ninth or tenth attempt at getting settled and every situation is worse than the last.

Believe it or not, there was a time that I had my shit together.  I was living in a two bedroom apartment on the beach in California, then everything got screwed up, so I brought the contents of that apartment to  my Mom's house, while I traveled around, trying to find my place.  I ended up back due to one trauma after another and now I find myself penniless, in a hostage situation with not much hope for my relocation.

I am in trouble and I need help.

I've placed a donate button on the top of my site and I am asking anyone who is able to donate anything to please do that (even five or ten will help).  This is a crisis of the worst kind and cash is the only thing that will help me out of it.  So, I am doing what I never thought I'd do, asking you all to help, if you can.  Please.

My dreams are on hold once again, while I try to get a footing in the nightmare I am living.  In a perfect world, Tolstoy and I will be settled in a *safe* place, with a job, while I write, paint and shoot my dreams into reality.

Some day over the rainbow.

I love you guys so much.  Thanks for your support.  Till next time.

UPDATE:  I just realized it's lame for me to ask for help with no solution.  I am embarrassed to say, I don't have one, yet.  I need to get out of my mom's house.

Do you have an extra room or do you know of a place where I may be able to stay?  I am a hard worker and will help out (NO SEX TRADES) and look for a job to get on my feet wherever I end up.

I need to get out of LOST WAGES as soon as possible.

UPDATE: 2:42 PM  My mother has cut off the Internet and phone line in her house.  She said her friend will lie to the police that I threatened her so I will be kicked out of the house.  I went to the police station and that is not possible, as long as I stay calm.  My mom will have to evict me to get me out, but this is tragic.  I need help.  Please, somebody, donate something. 

UPDATE Saturday:  My mother called the police to the house.  She said I have been abusing her and that I am on drugs.  The police explained to her that she can go to the constable to file eviction papers, which she says she will do.  Since this is Las Vegas, the constable will escort me out of the house, once she pays them the money for the eviction.  I have received a little over one hundred dollars in donations and my father sent me three hundred, which is GREAT.  THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE DONATED.

I still have no place to go to, since my father hasn't been able to get in touch with my Uncle.  I thought about going to Alameda, where I used to live, but I have no where to stay there, either.  I am scared out of my mind.  I need a safe place to stay.  I've never been more scared in my entire life than I am right now.  Imagine, my own MOTHER has thrown me into the street.  SHAME ON HER!

DeConstrucor's Comment In Response to LETTER TO MY "FRIENDS" IN AA (page above)

"Brav fucking O.....Standing O fucking Vation. Or perhaps the Charlie Daniels quote from the Geico commercial of "thats how you do it son"

That was incredible.

Reminded me a little of "the letter" at the end of the Breakfast Club (perhaps the greatest movie ever)

Keep it up, dont be afraid to kick them in the teeth once in a while.

Always remember that its the misfits, the rebels, and the troublemakers that are the ones that change the world."

He post the following video at the end of his comment.

Thank you, my friend.
I am both Flattered and HONORED.

*This Video is here to support Decon's Words, not OBAMA (or any politician for that matter, since I've never been allowed to vote) Sincerely, Go-Go Rach.