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THE DIARY OF A CHICK WHO WALKED AWAY FROM ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (THE CULT)

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Go-Go Rach  once was a girl whose world was controlled by the idea that she was POWERLESS. After a chain of events, she realized she'd been lied to. Now she does whatever she wants, whenever she wants, with whomever she chooses to do it with.

Her blog chronicles the horrors she experienced in the halls of Alcoholics Anonymous (THE CULT) and the wonderful things she does now that she's escaped. *IF SHE BIT HER TONGUE ANY LONGER, IT WOULD BLEED!*

Her life is pretty GREAT.
#gogorach
#livelikeumeanit
#thatswhatsup


Saturday, January 8, 2011

ERIN, YOU'RE KILLING ME


Intervention strikes again.  This time the subject is Erin, a gorgeous, Texas rose, fallen into the grips of Crystal Meth addiction.  She was born to Devout Christian parents who maintained a strict, conservative home, with the hopes their children would follow suit.  They chose home-school to insure the kids received Christian based curriculum.  For reasons never explained, the family relocated to Dallas, where they switched to the public school system.  This change instigated the destruction of their one time ideal life.

Today, Erin is one hell of a mess.  She is married, the mother of a little girl. Her husband has shipped the child off to live with his mother in Kentucky to protect her from her mother's friends.  He tells us the story with venom.  Apparently, a gangster type broke into their home, holding Erin and her daughter hostage at gun point.  He uses her daughter as a ploy to try to get Erin into THE PROGRAM several times during the course of the show.  Erin spends her days at home, hanging out with her friends, smoking Meth and sleeping with various men, while her husband works to pay for everything.

Like anyone who abuses Meth, Erin has become nearly insane due to staying up for days at a time.  We are shown over and over how bad her addiction has become as she frantically sucks on a bong, exhaling huge hits of the stuff that makes her feel better.  She is spun and delusional.  The camera looms about as she wanders around her living room, eyes bulging out of her head, acting like a crazy person.

As usual, INTERVENTION uses documentary conventions (manipulation) to tell Erin's story from the creators' point of view.  Head shot interviews are inter-cut with photos throughout the years.  Various types of music populate the soundtrack to enhance the intended emotional effect of what we see.  Voice-over narration and black screens with white text provide the pertinent details.  This mash-up accelerates to a feverish pitch, until finally, she is brought in for her INTERVENTION. 

Tonight's victim fest begins with dramatic music and photos of Erin as a preteen.  A woman's voice introduces us to the sick one in a flat tone.  "She was beautiful and bright."  Her account continues as clips of Erin getting high are added to the mix in brief interludes.  The camera finally connects the voice to a an older lady whom we learn is Erin's aunt. The aging wench smugly tells the camera "She was the Apple of her father's eye, ya know..." The voice reverts to background again, as we are assaulted by another part of the previous scene showing Erin abusing herself.

The camera settles again on Erin's aunt, while she mocks her,"How tough can I be?" Finally, she deadpans, "How extreme can I go?."

Next we meet a pale, poorly dressed man, who is nearly bald, and quite hideous.  As he jumps on the addict bashing bandwagon, his mug provides quite a contrast to our next visual of  Erin, who moves in and out of the frame in a sexy, black push-up bra.  The camera serves voyeur, hovering, while she gets high wearing next to nothing.

In spite of all her drug use, this chick is smoking freaking hot; tall, thin and tanned to perfection.  Her blond hair cascades well beyond the middle of her back. She has stunning blue-green eyes that cause her incredible features to glow.  She could be a model.  An extreme close-up of her voluptuous breasts, combined with shots of her putting on make-up in the bathroom, make it very clear that INTERVENTION wants us to take note of her stunning looks.

Montage is passed back and forth like a game of dodge ball played by everyone involved.  Aunt and ugly bald dude take turns in the spotlight, spilling their truths about Erin to the world.  He practically mumbles," She puts herself in the position of a hundred things that can kill her at anytime..." glop, glop glop goes the bong. The camera moves in on Erin, giving us an extreme close-up of her tits again, barely contained by her underwear. 

The camera pulls back revealing Erin has two friends with her.  One is a man, who is obviously included to prove she is nothing but a partying slut.  Cut to aunt, who describes the dangers Erin has invited into their life with her behavior.  "She's had a gun pulled to her head, knife head to her head.." the beat of the music reaches it's peak as INTERVENTION announces the LIE:  Erin has agreed to be in a documentary about addiction flashes across a black screen with white text. 

A clip of Erin and a hot dude takes over the screen, while ugly bald man shares with us how "It's almost impossible for her to be alone, so there is (sic) tons and tons of guys out there to give her attention."  We see her fornicating with one of these men in a truck.  Finally we meet Erin, who looks down as she describes how she needs attention from men. 

"It's kinda hard to live without that feeling you get from a guy...(since I never get it from my husband)." Her first interview is interrupted by a scene of she and bald dude in the bathroom.  He calls her "A whore," as the camera dances over them. This is when the only shocking portion of this very predictable show is revealed.  To my absolute horror, Erin and the bald dude are married!  The camera looms as she tries to defend herself.  He berates her with cutting insults.  Tag, you're it.

Needless to say this couple are pretty damned pissed.  Husband says he just wants a normal life and claims he is hanging on for that.  Erin says she just wants him to support her and give her money when she needs it.  I say he is an ugly toad, and Erin sold out the same way I have a bunch of times.

Three more players are added to the roster, including another aunt (we'll call them both aunt), Erin's mother, and a cousin.  The players toss the ball back and forth, smacking Erin every time.  They describe how this once obedient, smart, funny, gorgeous girl has morphed into a demanding drug addicted example of everything a proper Christian girl should NOT be.  My heart broke for Erin as I watched this group of assholes describe her terrible life. 

According to her family, Erin's problems began when she was placed in public school at the age of thirteen.  Aunt describes what happened, "There was a cocoon around Erin, she was not used to interacting with other kids."   Erin describes how she grew up in the Church, surrounded by "goody goodies."  Her jerk of a husband states:  "She started acting out and turning into the bad girl."  The editing speeds up as each player takes their turn.  Black screens shout the details:   Erin began drinking at 14, turned to heroin at 17, was put in rehab five times by nineteen.  Her family has spent more than eighty thousand dollars on treatment."

Mom shares her bitter disappointment in how her daughter always comes out of rehab just as sick as when she went in "I wasn't seeing the progress."  Really lady, and you are here to try the proven failure  again?  Say it with me, peeps:  INSANITY. 

Her parents tried everything they could think of to try to control her, including putting alarms and locks on her windows to keep her from sneaking out in the middle of the night.  Nothing seemed to help.  Dad finally got fed up, so he did what most control freaks will do when defeated:  he tossed his Christian values to the side in favor of abandoning his family with divorce.  Ugly bald dude nearly smiles as he tells us "Her dad told me on the phone that he has already mourned her death."  Erin displays her sadness when she tells us how "He won't respond to anything, no emails, phone calls, nothing." 

It's no surprise when we find out this pathetic excuse for a "dad" has refused to participate in the documentary (until the end with a letter that, lamely, was read by the INTERVENTIONIST, in case she didn't feel slapped enough already).

Aunt hits the nail right on the head when she says "Erin's dad did not have the ability to cope with how Erin deviated from his expectations of her, (he) basically emotionally abandoned the family at a time when the family needed to band together, the family was actually fragmenting." 

Everyone agrees, Erin's drug use increased after the divorce of her parents, since he flat out blamed her for the separation.  Her aunt states "I think what Erin desperately needs from her father is unconditional love to know that her father loves her.  That there is nothing that she is gonna do that' gonna take his love away."  

Um, no, what Erin needs is to grow the fuck up, figure out who she is and learn how to take care of herself and her kid.  Her "dad" proved to everyone that his "love" is marred with conditions ages ago.  What Erin really needs is to accept him for the prick he is and move on with her life. 

As usual, everyone involved in this situation is wrapped up in assumptions and feelings.  Aside from a cousin who is shown briefly gloating about what a great personality Erin has, everyone of these people seem like they have no business being anywhere near this once amazing girl. 

Erin is smoking so much Meth that she has become delusional.  The police got involved during a fourth of July party when she was caught running through the streets with a loaded gun, convinced people were trying to kill her.  Drugs are consuming her life.  It's clear this woman needs help, too bad it won't happen anytime soon, as we all know she will be sentenced to a life is misery in THE CULT.

The screen goes black as words explain how she ended up married. "At twenty two, Erin moved in with her friend, Jim."  He says he did sympathize with her and tried to help her.  Erin recalls how he kept bugging her over and over for sex, until she finally gave in (let's trade).  "He was taking care of me, financially, he was good to me."  Fuckwad says "she was actually a lot of fun.  Just this party girl."  

Um, doesn't this statement confirm his acknowledgment and acceptance of WHAT HE SIGNED UP FOR? 

Apparently, they got it on twice before she ended up pregnant, which must have felt like the jackpot of a lifetime to this gross excuse of a man.  Erin latched onto her first opportunity to be taken care of as she reached for her parents version of the ideal. Too bad she is so out of touch with herself that she cannot see that she actually can't stand this guy. She SAYS she loves him and wants to be with him, but she shows us this is not true.

Her feelings are all over her face every time she talks about the man she chose to marry.  "He is not here for me." she spits with disgust.  Her actions speak volumes when she is shown returning home after a night out with her boyfriend.  All of these people seem to buy into the archaic notion that wifely motherhood is the ideal.  None of them have the capacity to see what's really going on because they are stuck on getting what they want Erin to be (a good, Fundamentalist, Christian woman).  

What is it gonna take for everyone to realize they are making a mistake?

Her family describes with pride how Erin seemed be on the right track after she had the baby.  They say she was the picture perfect mom.  Erin tells the camera "I was really happy and I just knew I would love her more than anything in this world.  Her husband is right on board with the game.  "She became a different person after she got pregnant."  Heads up butt sniff, you don't marry a someone you want to change.  It ain't gonna happen. 

How can any of these people expect Erin to love anyone or anything, when she OBVIOUSLY doesn't know how love herself?  Why would she?  Her behavior is in direct contrast to what she has been taught is proper.  Her drug abuse is a mirror for how she feels about herself and her life. No one seems to get it, especially the person who needs to the most; ERIN.

To me, Erin is a beautiful, intelligent woman who has never had an opportunity to discover and prove her worth.  She was shoved on the TWELVE STEP track too young to know the difference, just like I was.  Worse for Erin is that she is already from a broken home where she was taught strict, conservative, Devout Christian values, yet shown an abusive, controlling father who walked away from her with the distinct clarification from EVERYONE his absence was HER FAULT.

I don't know the girl, but I will tell you exactly what I see based on my own experience.  Lot's of teens experiment with substances, the lucky ones never will.  Experimentation always lends itself to one of two results; a kid who moves on, or a kid who stays stuck.  Erin was a kid who got stuck, just like me, thanks to low self esteem and a fear of abandonment.  And, just like me, she was shoved on the rehab powerless track of Twelve Step Dogma, with family sucked in right behind her.  She is doomed. 

Collectively the family blames Erin's relapse for how messed up she is.  She was doing great, until, as her aunt points out, "Reality set in as to what it really means to be a dutiful wife, mothering a toddler."  Her mother's disappointment in her daughter is blatant, as she explains how Erin began to question whether she settled down too young.   Of course she was too young, she started squashing her feelings at fourteen!

The conservative Christian looks down in shame, then describes how her daughter picked up drugs and alcohol again.  Husband explains how mad he got when Erin left him home, alone, to take of care of everything while she was out partying with his money. (*DOH*)

What is so incredible to me about the ignorance passed back and forth by INTERVENTION and TWELVE STEP DOGMA is how obviously stupid EVERYONE involved truly is. 

Erin flat out tells us WHY she uses drugs, yet no one seems to notice the REAL problem that is sitting RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.  Erin TELLS us she is REACTING to her bad FEELINGS ABOUT HERSELF during another interview snippet:  "(You) feel good when you get high and you don't think about what sucks in your life."  I wish I could be the first one to ask her, what SUCKS?

According to the victim-fest, the problem is how Erin is treating everyone.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Wake up people!

Erin and Jim hate each other.  This made abundantly clear through their individual interviews and scenes of them abusing each other on LIVE TELEVISION.  The show's disgusting attempt to support the victim mentality becomes over the top as the crew follow ugly dude around during his work day.  He owns a company that installs video cameras for Christian Churches.  As the camera rolls, he bitches about the things he cannot stand about his wife.  

By the way, what is the deal with how they keep showing the Welcome to Christian World sign? I get they need pick up shots, but why this one?

No wonder these two are miserable, it is evidenced every time they share a scene how they bicker constantly. During one of these arguments, we find out Jim has an alcohol problem and (surprise, surprise) has recently started drinking again.  I'm sure it is in reaction to his feelings about Erin, but that is no excuse for this pot constantly calling the kettle black.  Erin jabs her finger at him as she accuses him of being just as big a screw up as her. He had been sober for a while, too, when they where pregnant.  

Now  that he is drinking again he really cannot talk.  Of course, he only drinks, so he isn't as bad as her, he says.  No, he is just better at it.

According to her husband, Erin has it made.  In his mind, her world has shrunk to just her and her drugs.  He and his daughter have nothing to do with it.  Um, yeah, and this surprises you why?  Also, what makes this guy think his wife has a good life?  At this point in the show, I made a decision.  I will never watch this rubbish again.  My brain cannot take it, and I am sick to death of the repetition of insidiousness that comes hand-in- hand with this propaganda.

Ugly, bald dude whines, "I'm working my ass off while she sits at home, partying, sleeping with a bunch of different guys with no condom (because she was raised a Fundamentalist Christian). I 'm trying to get her into rehab before she winds up pregnant, and we have to play who the baby's daddy."  WHAT A FUCKING PRICK.  I wanted to dive into my television and scoop Erin up to save her from all of these Religious freaks.

Erin goes over the details of how he uses the fact that he brings home the bacon to control her.  She complains that all she hears about is how hard he works to support her.  She is very  clear on what she signed up for when she married this shithead,  "He is my husband, it's his job to support me.  I shouldn't even have to ask."  What are you gonna do?  This is what her parent's TOLD her was right, too bad they were never able to back up the bullshit they claim to believe with an example of how to apply the principles they SAID they lived by. 

Erin is one confused child stuck in a drop dead gorgeous, horny body.  I bet her parents shamed her for ENJOYING sex, since it is a doctrine of Fundamentalist Christianity that one should only engage in this activity for procreation.  When is Erin going to have an opportunity to learn to empower herself based on WHAT SHE WANTS?  We know it won't be anytime soon, since SHE IS FACING INTERVENTION.

As I've told you guys before, I shut the television off when the show reaches the INTERVENTION portion because I just cannot bear to watch.  Since we all know where this is headed, I am won't spend a ton of time on what happens here.  I do, however, want to let you what I think about a couple of alarming things I observed.

Tonight A & E used John, who's earned his spot thanks to thirty-two years practice SPEWING CULT LIES.  For those who did not watch the show, please know the new guy did an excellent job of persuading Erin to go to rehab.  He beamed as he offered his experience in THE CULT to the family.

Manipulation knows no bounds when he asks the family, "What would you do in the case of an emergency?"  He nods feverishly in agreement as the family replies practically in unison:  "CALL 911."  The smug, garbage spewers gloats, "I AM 911."  Boy does he have EVERYONE FOOLED!

When the subject of ugly bald man's alcoholism is brought up, SPEW MASTER did not disappoint.  He made Jim promise to go to ninety meetings in ninety days (CULT TACTIC of indoctrination), to be followed by ninety more days of meetings, just in case the brainwashing doesn't set in during the minimal time "suggested" (or forgo a controlling sponsor, who truly believes YOU MUST COMMIT YOUR LIFE!).

The best example of the inevitable sickness of THE CULT is displayed when Geezer works his magic on Erin.  She says she'll go to rehab, if her husband goes too, John says, "We've already talked about that," but he never explains anything.  Am I the only one who objects to the fact that Erin has no say in her "treatment?"

I threw up in my mouth a little bit when he sealed the "deal" with a job offer for Erin to work for  the Intervention business that snagged his latest gig.  How much more does this show want from this poor girl?  Now she's gonna have to spend time with this pig, who licked his lips at the invitation?  Of course, Erin is desperate, so she began to pay attention with the thought of a tiny bit of power over her situation.  

Can I get get a count of how many of you believe she'll take the job, or that he was serious?  I'll stand over here, with the NAYS.

Additionally, I did some research into just what kind of training is required to become an INTERVENTIONIST.  It did not surprise me one bit to find none of these "guides" have earned any respectable education, aside from sharing and spreading the "disease" of THE CULT for extended periods of time.  These scumbags represent CULT MEMBERS who've acquired GURU STATUS.  

All they have to do is gain the minimal credentials required to take people over immediately when they are hospitalized.

Now, I am not gonna pretend to know what goes into the curriculum of this type of certification, but I will tell ya, it will never substitute for a PROPER DEGREE.  And, with how scummy the American School system has become over the past decade, I guarantee it doesn't take much of an effort to pass the class.  In fact, I would be willing to wager that the instructors of these programs are also members of THE CULT they are teaching others to promote.

Politics will get a student by often.  I imagine quite a few of these INTERVENTIONISTS where pushed along with a big, fat pat on the back for being so good at participating in their own sentence to living death. 

INTERVENTION must have felt they did a great job fixing Erin, because we were given an extra long look into her life now that she is in "recovery."  She and the bald dude are building a lake house on the water, planning to have another kid.  GAG ME WITH A SPOON!

One thing I will say is that Erin is the first VICTIM who has reflected the true physical appearance of a person who goes to THE CULT for help.

The weight she's gained through the always encouraged EAT BEFORE YOU DRINK shows in her bloated face.  All I kept thinking while she gave us a tour of her brandy new home was how she sure looks like a person who truly wants to believe what she's saying, but I know she'll turn back to drugs.   The Twelve Steps Are a BROKEN BAND AID.   She has shown multiple times before acting is not her strong point.  I hope she lives long enough to find out the truth.  

With the amount of  Meth she uses to cover her LEGIT feelings, I don't think Erin  has much hope.  I feel really bad for this girl because she seems like she is probably one *ROCKIN' CHICK.  I cried a little bit because, I swear...

ERIN, YOU'RE KILLING ME.

'TILL NEXT TIME,

DeConstrucor's Comment In Response to LETTER TO MY "FRIENDS" IN AA (page above)

"Brav fucking O.....Standing O fucking Vation. Or perhaps the Charlie Daniels quote from the Geico commercial of "thats how you do it son"

That was incredible.

Reminded me a little of "the letter" at the end of the Breakfast Club (perhaps the greatest movie ever)

Keep it up, dont be afraid to kick them in the teeth once in a while.

Always remember that its the misfits, the rebels, and the troublemakers that are the ones that change the world."

He post the following video at the end of his comment.

Thank you, my friend.
I am both Flattered and HONORED.
*STINKIN THINKAS UNITE!*


*This Video is here to support Decon's Words, not OBAMA (or any politician for that matter, since I've never been allowed to vote) Sincerely, Go-Go Rach.