Sooner, or later, I will be back full time. I CFW!
As you know, every single material thing I've worked my ass off for TWENTY FIVE YEARS, was either lost or stolen from me over the past few months, since CUNTESSA tossed me into the streets like a piece of trash to die in Las Vegas.
Praise GOD, I made it out of that place ALIVE and ready to take on Asheville with what was actually a "persona" created by a PSYCHOPATH LOSER.
I gotta tell yous, it does make me a little leery about who I'm actually dealing with online.
YOU NEVER KNOW, which is why I ended up the WORST situation of my life.
Never, in a million years, would I believe I'd be forced to go through what I just went through.
Me.
Homeless?
I've always WORKED, had money and the skills to land on my feet NO MATTER WHAT.
Up until recently, the only thing I ever offered a pan handler was a glare and "get a freaking job, scum bag."
That's certainly changed, since I'm currently homeless, broke and pretty much ALONE in a sea of the scummiest vipers on EARTH.
The Asheville homeless are hooked on crack or booze, which makes for a violent, scary and DIRTY LIFE.
I HATE IT HERE. I cannot wait to get the hell out!
Aside from that, I have to admit, I've learned a whole lot about sadness, loss and the pain that comes with destitution.
For example, when I used to be rude to people on the street, it was because I never realized some people may not be ABLE to get a job for whatever reason...
(I have TWO: a lying cunt's warrant, and a mental illness that is no longer controllable!)
Anyway.
My life used to be all about me and what I thought I was entitled to, but was gypped out of. My stuff was MINE and I refused to share what little I THOUGHT I had in fear of LOSS.
Holy crap.
All that's changed.
Now I give as much as I can AWAY.
I've been homeless for eleven months. It all started with my mom, then ended with a douche bag whom is EXACTLY like my mom, only worse.
The one constant in all of it has been ME and Tolstoy.
And.
What about US?
So much.
We are both a little beat up, but we'll make it through this TOGETHER.
Stuff is just STUFF.
LIFE, liberty, peace and HAPPINESS is where it's AT!
I'll never take another person or thing or opportunity for granted AGAIN!
AND.
I appreciate everything about myself, my life and the people around me more than I will ever be able to write here.
After Tolstoy and I got kicked out of the Asheville Salvation Army because I couldn't come up with a lousy sixty bucks for rent (which is ALL that shithole cares about - I will write a whole lot about this SCAM organization one of these days...), we were forced to camp outside in the middle of the woods by ourselves (because I don't do DRUNKTARDS, substance abuse or groping in the middle of the freaking night, ASSHOLES).
Yep.
That sucked.
It was fucking cold.
Wet.
Scary.
And a great way to get killed or totally violated by drunktards or the ignorant po-po Asheville wastes entirely too much money on.
All they seem to do is drive around in search of broke people to beat up, harrass or shake down for reasons I will NEVER comprehend. (Insurmountable quotas???).
Asheville loves to pass out camping gear, food and expensive clothing to the homeless population, yet the city does very little when it comes to housing the less fortunate.
Another thing I've learned, since I've been homeless, is there are three reasons it happens to people. #1 Substance abuse. #2 Mental Illness #3 THE FUCKED UP ECONOMY.
As much as folks in THE CULT want to believe, I DID NOT become homeless due to "my disease," the truth is I have a mental illness that was instigated and remained untreated, thanks to my DEAD BEAT, GREEDY, SELFISH BITCH, emotional terrorist "mother."
The last place I needed to be placed into at 17 was REHAB or THE CULT.
Like most substance abusers, I need authentic THERAPY, but that would require that CUNTESSA have the capacity to actually take responsibility for how completely fucked up she is...
It took 39 years for me to finally understand she is ill equipped to productively deal with anything, aside from her own MISERY.
Now that I *GET IT,* I can finally GET WELL.
Today I feel sad for her because the only thing she has to look forward to are her stupid package deliveries, morphine comas and a very lonely death filled with negative memories of all the things she felt entitled to just...well... BECAUSE SHE SAID SO?
Um...
My mother has stolen every success I've ever had, since I was nine years old and was recruited to join the YELLOW JACKETS gymnastics team, back when she allowed me to have a family. My auntie was on the team and they wanted to train me for the OLYMPICS. I AM THAT GOOD.
I'll never forget the ride home from Danvers that day when my mother refused to allow me to participate because "she was NOT going to pay for my uniforms or FUCKING drive me to practice..."
This theme continued, until February of this year. This time was the worst ever, because I couldn't just go out and get a job, like I used to do whenever this shit went down with her.
I was in discussions about a host spot on a television show, doing radio shows, about to start a comedy show and in the middle of writing the book everyone's been dying to read for YEARS.
And, my blog was (and still IS) OFF THE HOOK!
So yeah, I was on the verge of the biggest successes I've ever had in my life, my mom said she wanted to help me get it, then stole all my stuff and threw me out over $600 bucks a month rent...
It ain't no thang, though, my pretties.
SHE WILL NEVER GET TO DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS TO ME AGAIN.
I am coming back and I am gonna be BIGGER than I could have hoped to be.
AND, my awesomesauce won't be STOLEN away from me EVER AGAIN!
By ANYONE.
NOT EVEN CUNTESSA!
Want to know what's even better?
I will appreciate every single second of building my EMPIRE.
*YAY*
So, yeah.
I got my ass totally KICKED.
I'm grateful.
I'm happy.
I am better than I've ever been.
AND.
I am NOT ALONE.
Because.
I AM NOT MY MOTHER.
I am me.
Special, amazing, wonderful, talented, brilliant ME and I have more going for me than seems fair for a mere mortal, especially someone like me.
*PATIENCE*
Every single detail will be in the series of books and films I will spend the rest of my life producing.
I'm almost there.
CFW!
Until Next Time,
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