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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

TUES POST - Yes, I know it's WED

First let me apologize for my Tuesday post being a day late.  In truth, Saturdays' post:  NO SHIT, SHERLOCK, took a lot out of me emotionally.  The married dude calling and texting me all the time is not helping the situation at all.

As it stands right now, I answered the email he sent.  We have been talking on the phone and texting on a daily basis since he responded to me.  

It's been wonderful to connect with him again, but like a virgin boy who ejaculates too soon, he absolutely jumped the gun.  She is still living in the condo that he bought to get away from her well over a year ago. He has a plan for getting her out, but it will take time.

He says she is sleeping on the couch, but I will not believe a word he says.  Do you blame me?

He got in touch with me with the hopes that we can communicate while he extricates himself from the situation and I have enjoyed our conversations about us and our possible future; however I have made it clear to him that he hurt me deeply and that I absolutely cannot and will not go through that again.  

That pain will be the death of me.

At the moment, I am figuratively DEAD. I never signed up to be the other woman, nor would I in any situation.  I will not tolerate being treated that way, EVER AGAIN.  

I thought I made that clear to him.  I guess not, since I got that sick feeling in my stomach already when I could not get in touch with him again. 

These are texts to show you how it went down:

Me: Tried calling u. NA- I have to tell u, it gives me a not so good feeling when I cannot reach u. 9:46 PM

Married Dude:  Well...... I'm not sure what to say. I'm sorry. I can completely understand. Sometimes I can't answer. Sometimes I decide not to - like this time. 9:55 PM

Married Dude: I was eating a can of soup at the kitchen table, my daughter and her mom were 15' away on the couch watching TV. Now I've retired to the privacy of my 9:55 PM

Married Dude:   room. Oh boy, what a life. 9:55 PM

Me: so, r u gonna call me??? 9:56 PM

Me: I understand u cannot answer all of the time, but would it be possible for you to acknowledge me with a text until this feeling goes away? 9:58 PM

Married Dude: I thot I just did? 9:59 PM

Me: acknowledge me? or call me? I'm getting confused here. 10:01 PM

Married Dude: Can't right now. I will tho ok? Come on babes. Be cool, everythings ok. Ok? Nothing to worry about..... 10:03 PM

Me: I've always been cool. 10:07 PM

Me: Too cool... 10:07 PM

Me: You know, I am giving you an opportunity here to repair something that was incredible for both of us because of the way I feel. If you want to work this out with me, I need you to always show sincerity. I am not doing this if you want to continue to make me feel like the other woman while you put all of your energy into that fucking dead relationship. I basically gave you a complete pass, which you absolutely do not deserve. So, please decide what you want and go for it. I do not have the time, nor energy for fucking games. 10:31 PM

Married Dude: Omfng. I can assure u! I am not putting energy into my FN dead marriage. Regardless of the "pass" or opportunity ur giving me, putting this kind of pr 10:53 PM

Married Dude: essure on me is not going to work. I can understand ur suspicions etc, and I am trying to be 100% sincere with you. Can we plz take it slow? I AM deali 10:53 PM

Married Dude: ng w my shit, and it's going to take some time. Believe me I want it to go fast! The added pressure of your feelings getting hurt when I can't meet ur e 10:53 PM

Married Dude: xpectations about how quickly and how I respond to you doesn't serve either one of us. 10:54 PM

Married Dude: Tried to call u back, NA. Touché? I hope your not mad or anything at me. I'm shutting off the lights and closing my eyes - long FN day! Good nite, sle 11:20 PM

Married Dude: ep tight HR :) Talk to u soon, yes? 11:20 PM

Me: It serves me to take care of and protect myself from being hurt. I am asking for very little from you; essentially, it is what you would offer an acquaitence If you are not willing or able to at least do that for me, then I don't know what to say, except that perhaps we can re-connect when you are completely extricated and available to treat me the way I deserve to be treated. 11:25 PM

Married Dude: Good nite 11:27 PM

Do you think I have been clear in what I want and expect here?  I certainly do. He called me five times yesterday, once already today.  I will not take his calls.  I have nothing else to say.  I suppose I should not be surprised that he expects me to speak to him. 

You see, when it come right down to it, he is a typical man who thinks he is control of the decisions here.  


If we are ever going to get together again, it is going to be on my terms NOT his.  


'Till Next Time,

DeConstrucor's Comment In Response to LETTER TO MY "FRIENDS" IN AA (page above)

"Brav fucking O.....Standing O fucking Vation. Or perhaps the Charlie Daniels quote from the Geico commercial of "thats how you do it son"

That was incredible.

Reminded me a little of "the letter" at the end of the Breakfast Club (perhaps the greatest movie ever)

Keep it up, dont be afraid to kick them in the teeth once in a while.

Always remember that its the misfits, the rebels, and the troublemakers that are the ones that change the world."

He post the following video at the end of his comment.

Thank you, my friend.
I am both Flattered and HONORED.

*This Video is here to support Decon's Words, not OBAMA (or any politician for that matter, since I've never been allowed to vote) Sincerely, Go-Go Rach.