First let me apologize for my Tuesday post being a day late. In truth, Saturdays' post: NO SHIT, SHERLOCK, took a lot out of me emotionally. The married dude calling and texting me all the time is not helping the situation at all.
As it stands right now, I answered the email he sent. We have been talking on the phone and texting on a daily basis since he responded to me.
It's been wonderful to connect with him again, but like a virgin boy who ejaculates too soon, he absolutely jumped the gun. She is still living in the condo that he bought to get away from her well over a year ago. He has a plan for getting her out, but it will take time.
He says she is sleeping on the couch, but I will not believe a word he says. Do you blame me?
He got in touch with me with the hopes that we can communicate while he extricates himself from the situation and I have enjoyed our conversations about us and our possible future; however I have made it clear to him that he hurt me deeply and that I absolutely cannot and will not go through that again.
That pain will be the death of me.
At the moment, I am figuratively DEAD. I never signed up to be the other woman, nor would I in any situation. I will not tolerate being treated that way, EVER AGAIN.
I thought I made that clear to him. I guess not, since I got that sick feeling in my stomach already when I could not get in touch with him again.
These are texts to show you how it went down:
Me: Tried calling u. NA- I have to tell u, it gives me a not so good feeling when I cannot reach u. 9:46 PM
Married Dude: Well...... I'm not sure what to say. I'm sorry. I can completely understand. Sometimes I can't answer. Sometimes I decide not to - like this time. 9:55 PM
Married Dude: I was eating a can of soup at the kitchen table, my daughter and her mom were 15' away on the couch watching TV. Now I've retired to the privacy of my 9:55 PM
Married Dude: room. Oh boy, what a life. 9:55 PM
Me: so, r u gonna call me??? 9:56 PM
Me: I understand u cannot answer all of the time, but would it be possible for you to acknowledge me with a text until this feeling goes away? 9:58 PM
Married Dude: I thot I just did? 9:59 PM
Me: acknowledge me? or call me? I'm getting confused here. 10:01 PM
Married Dude: Can't right now. I will tho ok? Come on babes. Be cool, everythings ok. Ok? Nothing to worry about..... 10:03 PM
Me: I've always been cool. 10:07 PM
Me: Too cool... 10:07 PM
Me: You know, I am giving you an opportunity here to repair something that was incredible for both of us because of the way I feel. If you want to work this out with me, I need you to always show sincerity. I am not doing this if you want to continue to make me feel like the other woman while you put all of your energy into that fucking dead relationship. I basically gave you a complete pass, which you absolutely do not deserve. So, please decide what you want and go for it. I do not have the time, nor energy for fucking games. 10:31 PM
Married Dude: Omfng. I can assure u! I am not putting energy into my FN dead marriage. Regardless of the "pass" or opportunity ur giving me, putting this kind of pr 10:53 PM
Married Dude: essure on me is not going to work. I can understand ur suspicions etc, and I am trying to be 100% sincere with you. Can we plz take it slow? I AM deali 10:53 PM
Married Dude: ng w my shit, and it's going to take some time. Believe me I want it to go fast! The added pressure of your feelings getting hurt when I can't meet ur e 10:53 PM
Married Dude: xpectations about how quickly and how I respond to you doesn't serve either one of us. 10:54 PM
Married Dude: Tried to call u back, NA. Touché? I hope your not mad or anything at me. I'm shutting off the lights and closing my eyes - long FN day! Good nite, sle 11:20 PM
Married Dude: ep tight HR :) Talk to u soon, yes? 11:20 PM
Me: It serves me to take care of and protect myself from being hurt. I am asking for very little from you; essentially, it is what you would offer an acquaitence If you are not willing or able to at least do that for me, then I don't know what to say, except that perhaps we can re-connect when you are completely extricated and available to treat me the way I deserve to be treated. 11:25 PM
Married Dude: Good nite 11:27 PM
Do you think I have been clear in what I want and expect here? I certainly do. He called me five times yesterday, once already today. I will not take his calls. I have nothing else to say. I suppose I should not be surprised that he expects me to speak to him.
You see, when it come right down to it, he is a typical man who thinks he is control of the decisions here.
#FAIL.
If we are ever going to get together again, it is going to be on my terms NOT his.
SORRY SHERLOCK.
'Till Next Time,
