Since I've been writing a lot of lists lately, I'm stoked to share another favorite of mine with all of you. Today I present my top five pet peeves list, comprised of the things that TRULY frost my ass (when you are done with this post, click here for another fantastic list by yours truly). Trust me, each indignation will receive my undivided attention in future posts. For now, I'll give you a brief just so we are all on the same page.
GO-GO RACH TOP FIVE PET PEEVES LIST
- Alcoholics Anonymous (in case you didn't know - HA!).
- Deadbeat Dads and the lack of support for the women and children they leave behind.
- Liars and lazy people (these two adjectives are synonymous to me).
- The United States Educational System (Sucks ASS).
- Consumerism (How much shit do you really NEED?).
Tonight I am going to discuss those who fall under my pet peeve #3: LIARS AND LAZY PEOPLE. Ready? Better put your helmet on. Okay, let's go.
To me, lying is a lazy way to escape WHO YOU ARE and a sneaky way to get WHAT YOU WANT. I think lying is totally lame and if I catch an adult in one, we are DONE. I won't even bother discussing it with you because you have now become a waste of my precious time. GOOD BYE. I hate liars (I used to be one of them, 'till I woke up to myself). People who lie repulse me. Get it? Good.
Now, you guys might not know this about me, but I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE MEN. Oh my goodness, you guys amaze me with your...well, everything. *MWAH* Here's to all the guys who get me and still keep me. *YOU ROCK.*
This is why it hurts me deeply to have to say that one of the biggest, and most annoying lies I've ever heard typically rolls off a man's tongue.
Heads up, Jerkowitz, I'm talking to you.
Picture this: We are on a date. You have pulled out all the stops to impress the hell out of me. I love a man who brings me flowers, opens the door for me, pulls my chair out in the restaurant, pays the tab (hey, you asked ME out), and let's me be me with no judgment. I love to hear you tell me how beautiful, hot and sexy you think I am. It's great. Keep those compliments coming, baybeh. These words make me wet.
What I do not want to hear is "I am a one woman man, you are special, I want you to be my girlfriend, let's move in together, we would be great" (blah blah blah, vomit, vomit, vomit). Get my drift? Show me who you are with consistency, then we can talk about it. I have no faith in what people say anymore, especially when I am just getting to know someone. Actions speak louder than words, people. BELIEVE IT.
There are times when I especially do NOT want to hear this fluffy crap, specifically, when you are LYING because you want to get in my pants. GAWD I FUCKING HATE THIS. As I told a friend today, it is completely ANNOYING, unnecessary, and definitely NOT HOT.
Yes, I said UNNECESSARY. I love sex. If I wanna get it on with you, I am gonna get it on with you, and that is that. You don't have to tell me you love me, or say that you want a relationship. If you want that type of thing, AND you are positively BRILLIANT, educated, funny, sarcastic, self-actualized, mature, etc., etc, etc...then perhaps in time, we will get to that. DO NOT TRY TO RUSH ME. I don't like it. Way to go from hero to zero.
Nothing ROTS more than a guy who says all the things he thinks I want to hear, we get it on (because I am horny and I think he's hot), then he morphs into uber dickhead when we are finished. Don't even start that bullshit about how that is what a slut like me deserves. Save it. A real man knows better than to treat a woman like that in ANY circumstance (BTW SLUT is used out of context all the time. I break it down in this post.).
Recently, I had what I hope will be my last experience with one of these weak, suck pukes. Interestingly, this guy has been sober in the halls of AA for more than a year (coincidence? NOT). We hooked up through that wonderful site Facebook during this one time when I was bored and horny (kinda like I have been since I moved to Vegas pfft). I got the brilliant idea to see if someone on my friends list might be able to take care of my problem. My regular lays where not around, so I figured I'd throw out a hook.
My status updates started getting progressively randy. I loves me some Crazy Town (CXT), so I do quote them often. I just relate so well to their kick ass music. Seriously, when I listen to them, I feel like these guys have crawled up inside my head. I LOVE every single track on The Gift of Game
Now, back to my story.
One of my favorite tracks by CXT is Revolving Door where Epic spits a GREAT line: "Don't waste my time unless you're down to fuck." Since I was getting a little impatient, I put these words in my status update replacing "FUCK" with $%#@ to keep them guessing. I was utterly entertained by all the words people used to fill in the blank. Even if I didn't get laid, I sure was having fun, which is mostly all that matters to this girlie girl.
My sense of humor lit up as I was teased by people who thought it was funny. I laughed out loud when one of my high school classmates tried to shame me for being "tasteless" (goodbye bitch). Then, it happened. I got a bite from the one guy who was gutsy enough to ask "down to what?" TA DA! Honestly, I was kind of surprised that this particular person responded because the last time I saw him, he was dating someone I USED to hang out with.
To my delight, they broke up a while ago, so he was free to be added to my growing collection of great lays, if he fit the bill (fingers crossed)! I was thrilled because this guy was kinda cute, and I often wondered what the fuck he was doing with that fat cow back in the day (BTW, she is the instant message cunt from this post: SOMEONE PLEASE PUT A WARNING LABEL ON THAT BITCH). After a bit of communication, we set a date for Friday night. Woo hoo! I was excited!!! FRESH MEAT!
We had a great time together conversing over our Japanese dinner. I half-listened to him spew the above while I imagined what it was gonna be like to ride his cock. I'd already heard all about it via the the *REAL* grapevine. (Oh wait, it was my last AA sponsor who told me. How could I forget? She also sponsored im cunt and spilled the beans to me about private business, just like she does to everyone! Such a HORRID Sponsor Bitch! Tsk, Tsk.). He was all over me before we hit the parking lot. I reciprocated. We fucked. Let's just say I was not impressed. I chalked it up to a booty call that will not be repeated. No biggie.
Even though he sucked in bed, I figured we'd remain friends, until he acted like a TOTAL ASSHOLE when we where done doing the deed. Ugh. He did not even walk me to the door. REALLY? Are you fucking kidding me? You just got laid. You need to be courteous. It's especially nice to kiss me good-bye and give me a call or send a text within the next day, or so, just to say "hello."
Please note: this does not mean I want to talk to you all the time (don't even get me started on how much I hate chatting on the phone with people who should just come over already!). It is a matter of common decency. Start applying manners. Being nice is HOT.
Not gonna happen with the likes of this piece of shit, I guess he thinks he's a stud. No phone call the next day, either. I gotta say, I was completely relieved when he did not call because I was not excited to have to hurt his feelers with a big fat NO FUCKING WAY! *WHEW*
There was no need for me to fret, because nearly a month went by before I heard from him again. Get this! Bozo's first communication to me after we fucked was when he responded to another one of my glorious updates on facebook! LMAO! I was extending a big thanks to one of my regular San Diego lays (and my favorite, I might add) for the good wood he gave me the night before. Seconds after my message went live, rude boy comes out of no-man's land with the nerve to actually question my words!
C'MON, FOR REALS? Are you actually giving me the perfect opportunity to chop your dick off in public? SAWEET!
Me: Great to see ya last night, homie! Thanks so much. EW YEAH! XXX
Bozo: What's the "ew yeah" for?
Me: WHAT EXACTLY IS IT YOU WANT
Bozo: What do you mean?
Me: Well, I THOUGHT we where playin', but now you are all up in my business. What do you want?
Bozo: NO RESPONSE (think: DOH?)
From what I hear, this dude pulls this shit all the time with other women who actually get hurt by this loser.
Guess Bozo doesn't know what he wants, but I hope he figures it out FAST because his behavior is a good reason for his penis to be confiscated due to misuse (I'll take it up with "God").
When I think about my girls getting hurt by guys like him, it makes me want to punch the pricks right in the face. Since I can't do that, I offer my experience, strength and hope to them for future interactions. Don't hate.
I know what I want, and I don't mind letting ya know. If you just wanna fuck, it's okay. I'm with ya. I got needs, babe. So do you. No reason to be ashamed of yourself. Just be upfront about it (hell, I'm proud of it!). Don't think you are pulling the wool over my eyes with your sugar-coated deceit. We clear?
No matter because I've got experience on my side. Weak, suck pukes are banned from my life forever. My lie detector is in full effect these days. If I ever find myself on a date with the likes of Bozo, I'll be going home, ALONE.
So here's a message for all the pussies out there who play this game: Do us all a favor, PLEASE save that bullshit for a chick who wants to hear ya talk!
That's what's up!
Live Like You Mean It!
ENJOY A VIDEO BY MY GIRL, KE$HA - SHE IS ONE *HOT* BITCH!