"Like a butcher cutting the fat off a hunk of meat, I am cutting fake people out of my life one at a time. The sooner, the better is what I say." Go-Go Rach
Facebook is a trip! My ride so far on this uber-site has been very interesting, rocky, painful. When I first joined the site a few years ago, my goal was to get as many friends as possible (c'mon you did it too).
When the number read 750, I thought I was satisfied, until my brother got pissed off about one of my old blog posts and used Facebook to attempt to embarrass the shit out of me (as if I ever get embarrassed - pfft.).
He threw a fit that I had added some of his friends, so I blocked him, then deleted every single friend we had in common, including some of my own, along with all people I do not know personally. My brother and I worked things out, but I still WILL NEVER BE FRIENDS WITH HIM ON FACEBOOK.
It's not safe.
I brought my friend number down to a more manageable 300, or so.
For a while, things where cool, until my AA sponsor assaulted me (read all about that right here SOMEONE PLEASE PUT A WARNING LABEL ON THAT BITCH). Then my friend count began shrinking when the minions began de-friending me, several at a time.
For the record, I think de-friending someone is a cowardly route to take. If I care about you, I will tell you to your face, or at least via the telephone, that you've pissed me off, especially, if it is something serious enough that I don't want to see you anymore.
Essentially, that is what it means, right? When I de-friend someone, I am definitely telling them to "get the fuck out of my face." I guess I have an old fashioned view of friendship.
In my mind, if I love and care about someone I have their back 100%.
I will never talk down to someone I care about. I will never talk behind a person's back (until I'm done). I am a loyal friend who takes pride in my loved ones' accomplishments and I am committed to encouraging the growth of the people I say I am a friend to and love.
We can disagree on lots of stuff, you may do something that I would not do, but I will still be your friend.
Finally, I am not two-faced, phony, or willing to form an opinion about another person (or anything for that matter) based on what someone else says. I prefer to let people show me who they are.
That was not my experience in life, as an AA person, and I refuse to subject myself to that crap again.
Sorting through my friends list, I realized most of these people did not fit my definition of "friend." What was I going to do? There were so many putrid people attached to my old account, that I decided just to create a new one to represent me and my real persona. I had planned to delete the one attached to what I will refer to as my "old life" from now on.
Believe me, they all know exactly how I feel about them. I am NOT a coward in any sense of the word, I am an open book. But, thankfully, I realized I can't delete that page because it is my only connection to my dear friend who committed suicide in April. FUCK.
What to do?
What to do?
First, I created my Go-Go Rach account where I invited the people whom I know are true friends to join. Second, I posted a status update stating that I was moving my page with a link to my new one. A lot of people responded, but a lot did not.
Of course, I realize everyone is not a SoMe ADDICT, like me, so I decided to wait two weeks before concluding these people SUCK. I turned my attention to the creation of my brand, setting up new social accounts, building a network, and building my blog.
A couple weeks flew by and Go-Go Rach was ready to launch.
When I was ready to deal with my old Facebook page, I compared friends on my both my new and old account (such a nice feature). I was astounded by the variance. One hundred and twenty people either did not respond to my update, or accept my new friend request.
REALLY? I got pretty pissed, especially at the people I thought where my true friends. I took a closer look.
What a surprise, I knew EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE PEOPLE from AA.
Another update read: "Really, I am moving. Do you want to go?
Now, I do understand AA has members brainwashed to believe and accept complete and total powerlessness over people, places and things. I used to live that lie where I was encouraged (and ordered) to ban anyone who is not sober from my life, including my own mother (how limiting and UNREALISTIC).
I am not sober, according to AA, because I smoke weed on a regular basis to manage my depression, anxiety and mania.
Obviously, I am not going to ask one of them if they want to smoke a joint. Also, I would never show up stoned, or even talk about getting high with them. I don't agree with the AA doctrine, but I respect my friend's needs.
Unfortunately, AA folks feel so weak, they won't even give a girl a shot. This idea is so powerful, that apparently it's not even safe for AAers to be friends with me on Facebook. LAME.
What to do, what to do.
A few more days went by, then it hit me. This would be a great way to clear the fat (see above quote) from my life all at the same time!
My old life is a prime example of how AA can hold people back from living their best. Every time I relapsed, I was knocked to the bottom of the totem pole, thus feeling like a piece of shit who doesn't deserve a greeting and a smile, let alone a good job, or the ability to move ahead.
Nope. All the experience I had went down the drain when I returned to the place that pretends to encourage, but only serves as a way to keep a sister down and out.
In spite of having a $120k B.A. from the well respected Emerson College, I was led to believe that I was fortunate to have a job as a retail cashier. Not that there is anything wrong with these types of positions, but we usually go to school to move away from menial jobs. That's why I busted my ass for four years. What about you?
So yeah, I am pissed off about the time I wasted in AA. My wrath knows no bounds when I think about all the fucking assholes who held me down. In my old life, I was wimpy, confused, afraid, insecure, and ALONE. Now I am not.
What to do.
What to do.
Recently, I discovered a wonderful site called (REMOVED BC I NO LONGER ENDORSE THIS SITE-IT IS ABUSIVE), that was created by a woman who had an experience similar to me in AA. We are on the same page, since we both know AA is a cult with the ability to destroy people.
We also agree that the world needs to know the truth. What a relief it is to find out I am not the only person in the world who feels this way about AA. In fact, there are millions!
MILLIONS of people have had their asses kicked by this program, and XXX is a place for us to share our experience, strength and hope with each other as we recover from our supposed "recovery" in various 12 step programs.
I was amazed and sad as I read the words of other AA victims, their families and rebuttals from the idiots who are still brainwashed into thinking their opinions matter even a little bit, once we've broken free.
Here's a tip dumb ass: IT DOESN'T.
Again, I compared my friend list on both pages, deleting all of the friends who came over to Go-Go Rach with me (i.e. TRUE FRIENDS) because they did not deserve the tongue lashing I was about the give the rest of those fuckers. I left anyone I wasn't sure about alone; tossing the ball into their court.
AA friendships are precarious.
First things first, I decided to change my Facebook profile picture to one that is more appropriately suited for the occasion to the one above. Fitting, isn't it? I held my knife steady, as I trimmed, trimmed away. The fat was dropping to the floor.
Next, I deleted all the information about myself, and replaced it with a bio that read "I told you I am moving my page, my real friends came with me, so you can F&*@ off NOW." (Gawd, I hate to have censor myself, but I did.)
I stomped that disgusting flab with glee! I adjusted my privacy settings to allow friends of friends to see my status updates. This action made it so everyone would be able to see my final farewell: a note with a skin and bones version of SOMEONE PLEASE PUT A WARNING LABEL ON THAT BITCH detailing my horrible experience there, including how my AA sponsor assaulted me.
"WHY I THINK AA SUCKS" was posted.
The slime is under my feet now.
My new favorite website (REMOVED) has a page filled with precious gemstones; a list of AA definitions translating the double talk slogans used to break people down in the AA program. With a chuckle, I posted several key definitions on my old page.
Here are few GREAT ONES:
“Living life on life’s terms – a phrase meaning one should spend the greater part of each day in either AA meetings or AA service work instead of unproductive activities such as family, work or school. (Commonsense)"
"Humility – an arrogant refusal to believe that anyone who questions stepper dogma might just have a point; assumption of the right to shout down people who disagree with you; boastfulness about your length of sobriety and spirituality; insufferable attitude of smugness and superiority, esp towards newcomers. (humanspirit)"
“Fake it ’til you make it” – often used slogan, meaning that a person should pretend to believe the AA dogma, until they are fully brainwashed and indoctrinated"
"Anonymity – a cornerstone of the AA program, which is steadfastly protected, unless breaking it will serve a greater purpose for an individual AA, or AA as a whole – in which case it is dropped like a bad habit."
This hypocrisy was played out live as one AA member, who claims to be a Christian, attempted to shame me in a comment revealing my deceased friend's name. To this I responded: Even when you die, you are not safe! Nice job on that one, bitch!
All quotes taken from XXX READ IT. This site is *AWESOME.*
My original plan was to completely abandon the page with "them is my last words" (RIP TUPAC), however; the absolute shit-storm I encountered when my edits were complete, was way more than I could hope for!
Cult members I hadn't heard from in AGES where responding in droves, riding their badges of judicious piety, their noses in the air, puffing out ignorance.
The whole experience reminded me of that one time when my 10 year old pug tried to attack my old roommate's (another AA psycho) 100 pound pit bull (he was a docile boy, thank gawd). It was laughable. I still cannot believe the gall of that bitch who tried to say I was desecrating the death of my friend.
My excitement, and relief mounted as I responded to all of their posts.
It was fun for a minute, then I GOT BORED.
Ugh, will you just fuck off, already!
Out of the one hundred and twenty people I was collectively telling to FUCK OFF, one person sent me a letter to say how much she loves me and that she is so sorry about my bad experience. She offered her support, love and a continued connection anyway I would like to have it. Friend for life, right there. I brought her over to my new page. I'm so happy she's there. Love ya, lady!
Within two days, my new, edited friend list dropped to 72. Today it is at 64. To these people I ask, "what the fuck are you still doing here?" Don't you get that I hate your phony, weak, suck puke ass? Get the fuck off my page.
To the ones that wanna complain about me giving the finger to them and everyone else they know, I say: you have got to be kidding me. Really, why don't you just defriend me? It's okay. Show me who you are. I am BEGGING you to do it! Geez.
My experiment was a success. I bow my head in appreciation to Facebook for helping me to purge the hypocrites.
Thank you Facebook. I love/hate ya. I've concluded two things from this whole undertaking. Number one: Facebook is no place for personal anything. Number two: I will reserve my old Facebook page in honor of my dearly departed friend.
It is now a safe place where the two of us can hang out. (I'm changing my profile picture.) To him I say, welcome, my friend. The vipers who killed you, and nearly killed me are silent here. They will never bother us again. At last, my dear, we are alone.
This post is dedicated to your memory.
I will always miss, remember and love you.
May you rest in peace. xoxo
So, that's what's up!
Live Like You Mean It! Go-Go Rach