Monday, May 9, 2011


A Female Job Makes Perfect Sense In Postmodern Society

"The Bible says a person must lose everything in order to change the world."
By the time I made it to the Welfare office in Oakland, CA, I was in a total panic. Never, in a million years, would I have thought I'd  be homeless. I focused my attention on my list of things to do to get back on my feet, while I tried to stay positive.

My attitude went to shit with a quickness when the man in the seat next to me prayed out loud, "God, please, help us, so we may take care of ourselves." 

Annoyance beat etiquette when I blurted my opinion to no one in particular, "God" is a figment of our imagination created to help fearful humans deal with life and feel better about death. 

The guy, whom I guessed to be in his early twenties, asked with surprise, "what on earth happened to you?"  I rolled my eyes, then quipped, you're young, you'll know after you get knocked down a couple more times, like me. 

I announced the truth I had come to accept, God cannot help us because he doesn't exist. 

Life sucks, then we die is the motto I came to live by.  After many failed attempts to know HIM, I came to believe I would never be blessed by some higher power.

Anything that can go wrong in my life always does, in the worst possible way.  I've come to the conclusion that if God is real, he/she/it never heard of me. 

My childhood faith morphed into a seething rage that had me cursing Him in disgust, out loud, with clenched teeth and spit flying from my mouth as I shook my fist violently at the sky, with  my new favorite question:  WHY?

One time, I was so worked up in my car, that I had to pull over to collect myself before I could drive. Yeah, I know.*SCARY!*  I was furious.

As a child, I would fear the consequence of any negative thought about the Almighty.  Disappointment gave way to apathy that hardened my spiritual life to stone. 

Now, I have no fear of punishment because I don't believe - at least in reference to me.

Life's punches gave me the courage to hit back. 

Why not yell as LOUD as I can? 

What punishment could be worse than hating every second of your life?

Besides, if there is a God, wouldn't he already know I'm pissed?  I would hope so!  I have to verbalize how I feel, or I'll go insane.  God must know - if he made me! 

In venomous response to MC Prayer Master's question about what happened to me, I spewed the short version of my life and the absolute shit-storm I was (and still am) dealing with.

My life was tossed like a garden salad by my mom, just when my blog took off and I finally felt that I had a reason for my existence.  

I believe I am on the path to my dreams and my purpose in life is to wake people up to the destruction and abuse in the way we treat substance abuse.


My eyes swelled when I talked about the email I receive from people around the world who have their "aha" moment from what they learn about right here, because I have the courage to LIVE FREE! 

They *get it* and get *WELL,* too!

When I talked about my commitment to change how we treat substance abuse with the destructive, cookie cutter twelve step model, he shared the CULT hell he went though in his teen years. 

The guy said he's still not right from when his parents forced him by kidnap into rehab at thirteen! 

A random question from him threw a dart in the conversation.  He asked if I had read the bible, which sent me into a dissertation about the damage I've seen and experienced thanks to the archaic book.  

I replied, with sarcasm, the bible? Are you kidding? I just told you I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD!" 

As I've mentioned before, I believe the bible needs to be updated, or called a collection of stories, because it has no place in Postmodern Society!

We cannot put labels or expectations on behavior these days.  

Anyone can do whatever they want now that we've won the right to freedom with the social movements of the sixties. 

The bible shames people with unrealistic expectations that are practically impossible!  

We must adjust our thinking and values to match our freedom if we want to change the destruction we've brought onto ourselves by greed, gluttony and instant gratification. 

Ancient ideology instigates shame that blocks our ability to adjust our actions to match current REALITY.  People  choose to hide what is called "SIN," instead of dealing with life on TODAY'S life terms.


Look at my life.  I was born in the seventies, post movements...I will never recover from the absence of my mom who worked and my Dad who left. 

My parents ought not to have married to begin with. 

Do you think they would have divorced if things where still how they ought to be? (e.g. families stuck together, sex was for marriage, mom's stayed home to raise the kids, while Dad went to work) I DON'T!

FREEDOM made it easy. 

Don't get me wrong, I am a POSTMODERN WOMAN, I get laid, because that is how we roll these days. 


I'd much rather live in a community setting with my entire family in the house, get married, be a housewife, while my husband brings home the bacon. 

I'd have a bunch of kids running around the property every family owned and passed onto future generations.

Are you laughing?

I BET YOU ARE because it's a long forgotten lifestyle that is only available for the richest of the rich - who are typically greedy fucks to get there and probably abuse substances because they feel like shit about it!

The guy would not let up.  

"You have just summarized the best solution I've ever heard to one of the biggest problems we know. Get ready for your life to get much worse."

He encouraged me to reconsider my thoughts about God, since he blessed me with the talents to write and speak out in a way that will help millions. 

"You need to read The Book Of Job, as soon as possible."  He said. 

"His story will  help you understand your challenges and will prepare you for what happens to anyone who aims to change the world."

He put his hands on both on my shoulder. He made me look right at him, as he said, "listen, you are blessed to know why you're here.  

It is your duty, as a pioneer, to learn what to expect..."

Again, I rolled  my eyes, while he made me promise to learn about Job, as soon as possible. I agreed.  We shook on it.  

Seconds later, the case manager called him to his appointment. 

With a wave and a smile, the young man said,  "You gotta lose everything before you can change the world, Rach. It's gonna suck, but stay strong because this is why you're here. As long as you focus on your goal, you will make it through whatever comes your way."

"You can do it!" 

"Someone HAS TO!"

"Go-Go Rach!"

When he was out of sight, I turned my focus back to my to do list where I made a note to make good on my promise to read The Book Of Job as soon as I had the chance.

Another month chock full of trials came and went before I could fulfill my promise to read about Job. 

Although I disagree with the shoulds inherent in the stories, I was shocked that Job's experience was so much like mine.


My entire life has been full of struggle that brought me to the REVOLUTION.  

My eyes are WIDE OPEN. 

Every time I think I've lost it all, something else is stolen from me.

No matter.

My talents are my own and I will continue to write and speak out against THE CULT and postmodern society.

One day, I will be in the position to make documentaries and organize a SIXTIES STYLE REVOLT against the BULLSHIT.

I will not be silenced.




A friend encouraged me to try not to be so angry at the Universe for the challenges in my life.  I've done some work in this area and stopped my fits of rage against God.

Good things began to happen (THANK YOU, B).

And, even more bad.

Balboa Thrift and Loan insisted on repossessing my car, instead of working with me to refinance (because they made
their money) I had no choice, but to turn in MY FREEDOM TO Go-Go everywhere and everywhere.  

My anxiety took over as I realized being fucked over on another level by the bitch I got stuck with at birth.  She co-signed the loan I paid on time for three years.

When my income changed, I tried to refinance, which required her to fill out some paperwork. 

Of course, Cuntessa refused.  

Now she will pay the balance on the loan and repo fees, while I am stuck in Lost Wages (I'll explain on DCF) with no way to get around. 

It's like I lost my legs.

That hurts.

I called out to Him for help, PLEASE!


Only time will tell.

I must admit,  I am a little scared now that my fortieth birthday is just around the corner, which was hellfire for JOB. 

What else is gonna happen to Go-Go Rach? 

Who the hell knows? 

What I do know is that all I've ever wanted is to write about my life to help people choose the right path.  If I can save anyone from a fraction of the hell I've been through, my life will be worth it. 






'Till Next Time,

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