Fourteen

It’s been almost twelve years since my mother kicked me out the first time. Unfortunately, I don’t have anything left to support the second time (actually, it was the FIFTH, but who the fuck really cares, anyway?)

Nobody.

At.

All.

Although I was used to that, I hadn’t expected to go through HELL. I hadn’t expected to find myself an aunt-unwanted. Of course. Things really suck. I’ve got nowhere to go from here. I don’t want to go anywhere from here.I just want to be DONE.

I’ll admit, I am so sad. My brother hates me. So does my mom. And, apparently, I’m never gonna get to meet the kid. 

It sucks almost as much as knowing your mom hates you.

Although I’ve done my best to move on, I simply can’t.

How does one reconcile being hated? Dismissed? Forever? And EVER?  I’m nothing to nobody. I’ll never be anyone to anybody. Ever. 

It’s been FOURTEEN YEARS. 

I’m old. 

I’m tired. 

All of my friends are DEAD, or, they've abandoned me.

Just like me. 

Only, they’re free. Free from this flesh I cannot stand.

FOURTEEN YEARS.

Is a long time.

Too long.

Way too long.

Fuck fifteen.

Peace OUT.