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Saturday, December 12, 2015


The past five years have been filled with changes made with hope to fix the one thing I'll never get back, my old life. Call me stubborn or sick or whatever. It's hard to believe how long it took to realize what you probably knew all along. Life, as I once knew it, was over the second I left my mother's house. I imagine my demise must of been painful to watch. I'm sorry I put you guys through that. Thank God, I'm over it. 

Regardless of how it happened, my fifteen minutes of fame came and went a long time ago. It was fun while it lasted, but I'm not sad it's over. In fact, I find the whole anti-twelve movement to be quite boring and, stupid, really. I mean, how many websites, Facebook pages, groups, books, communities and films does the world need now that celebrities are dropping like flies from overdose after over dose, while in "treatment."
It seems to me that the only people still interested in what has become common knowledge are the ones who refuse to accept responsibility for a problem they keep alive with the reasoning of small children.
As I've said a zillion times before, substance abusers need to grow up, decide what they want, then do it. No matter who you are, substance abuse and success aren't an option. If substance abuse is affecting your ability to succeed, you need to ask why you are sabotaging yourself, then deal with it some other way. Please get it through your heads, the "disease" concept is a LIE. What we're all dealing with are habits that can be broken, with ease, no matter what you've been brainwashed to believe.
Say it with me: Any habit, good or bad, is made or broken after twenty one days (repeat as often as necessary) .

You only need yourself to make the decision to cease the behavior for less than a month. In the meantime, do yourself a big fat, favor and work on the why. This is a great time to figure out what you want to do with your life. Write the answers down, Find a good therapist or someone you trust to talk to about why you want to change your behavior. Let them help you come up with things to do instead of engaging in whatever you're doing to destroy your life. I promise, this works. No cult required.

Now, if you're the type who likes to stay drunk or high, do the rest of the world a big, fat favor and stop whining about your choices and/or begging for help with the consequences of your actions. Quit going to rehab, bugging your parents, or anyone else whom you've used in service to your problem.
Believe me, I understand the pains of childhood. Mine sucked. Seriously, though, once you reach adulthood, your parents have the right to move on, as do you. Life can be a real bitch. Suck it up, cupcake! If I can do it, in spite of my problems, so can YOU! 

The only way to fix this ridiculously pathetic epidemic is to STOP THE INSANITY. Stop looking for help in the wrong places, especially psych wards, rehabs and THE CULT. Nothing kills a business faster than NO CUSTOMERS. Let's accept reality, as it is. This is your problem to fix (or not!). 

Get it?

Okay. I've said my peace. Good riddance to the anti-twelve step movement and the weak suck pukes stuck in it, for it and/or against it. I am glad to be of service, but like my sister pioneer, Amy, I am moving onto the path of shiny, happy people with more on their mind than the last time they (fill in the blank). We've got better things to do!

Good luck with growing up. I pray it goes well. Please do not contact me, if it doesn't.

I'm re-designing this site to reflect my life now that I've truly escaped the cult and moved on. I'm thinking I'll split it into three parts: What It Was Like, What Happened, And, What It's Like Now.

Speaking of now, you might be surprised to know my life is better than I could have ever dreamed it could be when I started this blog. 

In fact, I am grateful for the way things turned out. Ironically, homelessness saved me from becoming just like my mom, which is the only thing I've ever been afraid of.  

It took losing everything I had to gain all I ever wanted. My life is full of amazing people, places and things filled with my ability to love and be loved, too!

Once things are in order here, I'll be writing on a regular basis again. For now, I'm off to get some rest.

Have a blessed night, everyone!

Sweet Dreams!


DeConstrucor's Comment In Response to LETTER TO MY "FRIENDS" IN AA (page above)

"Brav fucking O.....Standing O fucking Vation. Or perhaps the Charlie Daniels quote from the Geico commercial of "thats how you do it son"

That was incredible.

Reminded me a little of "the letter" at the end of the Breakfast Club (perhaps the greatest movie ever)

Keep it up, dont be afraid to kick them in the teeth once in a while.

Always remember that its the misfits, the rebels, and the troublemakers that are the ones that change the world."

He post the following video at the end of his comment.

Thank you, my friend.
I am both Flattered and HONORED.

*This Video is here to support Decon's Words, not OBAMA (or any politician for that matter, since I've never been allowed to vote) Sincerely, Go-Go Rach.