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Boston, MA, United States
I don’t need an introduction.

Saturday, December 6, 2014


Daytona Beach is a lot like Vegas. Both are fun-filled, adventurous places to visit, yet these cities offer no more to an educated, cultured genius trying to re-build her life, than the disgusting waste one might find at the bottom of a filthy, well-used dumpster. 

Obviously, I had no idea that this place is filled with white-trash, coke snorting and/or smoking, pill-popping scumbags who, mostly, live like whores, are looking for whores or, are actual whores when I made a quick decision to settle here. 

Man, I fucking hate cocaine, almost as much as I hate what it does to people who abuse it. What a complete waste of time for a shitty, soul stealing high.

And, I don't miss using meth even one single bit, so don't go there.


Per usual, I jumped on the feeling of desperation.


What I've learned from this experience is that I have been acting based on fear for far too long. I refuse to do this again. This is why I am doing my level best to remain, even though every single cell of my body is begging me to run, run far away, like I always do.

That's what my "mother" always did.



All I wanted to do when I got here was to find my own place within walking distance to what appeared to be a beautiful beach and a plethora of great bars offering live music, without cover charges and, cheap beer. I also wanted a place where I could afford to live alone to rest, heal and move on. Finally. I've GOT THAT.



First of all, I am not on the right medication to be stable, thanks to the aforementioned pill-heads. So, in spite of having my own, awesome, safe spot and all, things look pretty fucking dim to me right now. The mental health system here is a God-Damned nightmare. I will write a post about this, when I am feeling better.

On top of that, I had no choice but to give up on my sweet hopes to find community in a church, any church. They all SUCK. I'll detail my experiences on another day, as well.

Finally, my landlords are under-cover douche bags who failed to mention the fact that they are selling this God-forsaken place, which is why it's been fixed up so nice.

This omission is one that frosts my fucking ass every time I have to let another looky-loo group or inspector of this or that in because I want and need privacy and to not have to worry about what the fuck these people are dragging into MY HOUSE. It only takes one fucking bug! 

Additionally, their real estate venture forces me to deal with any derelict able to pay the deposit and rent, since having a full tenancy is one of their fucking selling points!

As if  the last tenant in unit #1 with her constant stream of anonymous johns, drug-dealers, party people, Hummer driving pimp and the discovery via google of eighteen mugshots detailing arrests for prostitution, drug possession, trafficking, grand larceny wasn't enough of a neighborly disaster! 

Now, I have to put up with a low-life couple's hostile take-over of the entire property complete with non-stop slamming of EVERYTHING, concert-volume music, over-the-top loud conversations, fighting and the occasional dry humping happening all over the once quiant and quiet courtyard out back.

This place feels like a freaking flop house!!! 

Even though I think it's kinda gross how the prostitute did all she did while carrying her third baby sold to the highest bidder through an adoption agency, at least she tried to keep it discreet, which is infinitely preferable to the audio and visual assault my landlords are willing to turn a blind eye to. 

My next door neighbor intends to sue.

I just want the fuck out.

I'm getting out.

Maybe not today, but I am go-going, as soon as my ducks are in order, to another beach.

So. You ask, "what's good?"


With ME.

And my complete and utter understanding and acceptance that I am the only one willing or able to take care of myself, for myself.

I won't be leaning on anymore douche bags, under-cover or not.

I can take care of myself. 


And, I am working on an IPAD, which is hard to get used to, so bear with me people!

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DeConstrucor's Comment In Response to LETTER TO MY "FRIENDS" IN AA (page above)

"Brav fucking O.....Standing O fucking Vation. Or perhaps the Charlie Daniels quote from the Geico commercial of "thats how you do it son"

That was incredible.

Reminded me a little of "the letter" at the end of the Breakfast Club (perhaps the greatest movie ever)

Keep it up, dont be afraid to kick them in the teeth once in a while.

Always remember that its the misfits, the rebels, and the troublemakers that are the ones that change the world."

He post the following video at the end of his comment.

Thank you, my friend.
I am both Flattered and HONORED.

*This Video is here to support Decon's Words, not OBAMA (or any politician for that matter, since I've never been allowed to vote) Sincerely, Go-Go Rach.